Memories of my Father


Lately I have been trying to draw dad out into more discussions as he usually sits so quietly in his chair.  I asked him about his mother and grandmother on Mother’s Day.  He said he didn’t remember doing special activities on Mother’s Day with his mother or grandmother.  But he did remember his mother used to make white hats with wool – either knitting or crocheting.  He also said his mother had a sewing machine (which I didn’t know) and she used to sew with that.

My grandmother had a large family and passed away when some of the children, including dad, were fairly young.  I have tried to recreate a picture of her in my mind to fill in what I don’t know from personal experience.

At the same time, I want to record my own memories of my parents.  I have made some memory books of photos that mostly told about family activities with mom and dad.  Now I want to add more personal experiences of just me and my father.

Now I have more one on one time with dad than I ever had while growing up.  I enjoy our time together and reminisce about the rare times we spent together in the past.   As time goes by I think of more and more special times we had together.

Dad was an old-fashioned father.  He didn’t play games with us or anything like that.  We took very few family vacations, and those we did take fill a large place in my memories.   As a teenager, I missed having dad around a lot as he worked odd hours in a swing shift that varied by month so often he didn’t have meals with us, etc.

I do have some special memories though of times alone with dad.  When I was in my late teens, I was a counselor in a girls’ camp over a hundred miles from my home.  Mom didn’t drive, so dad was the one who had to drive me to camp with my trunk full of clothing and accessories to carry me through the summer.  Halfway through the summer I had a rare full weekend off and I took a train home to visit my family.  Dad drove me back on Sunday afternoon.  I took him on a tour of the camp, showing him around the large pond (or very small lake!) where the girls swam.  As we walked around, I didn’t realize that all my friends (fellow-counselors) were watching us out the window.  Dad was fairly good-looking and young enough that they thought he was my boyfriend!  Boy — was he proud when he heard about that!

Another time dad had to drive me a long distance was when I went away to college.  Again I went over a hundred miles from home and dad had to drive me and my belongings to my dorm.  At the start of my sophomore year, dad picked up my boyfriend along the way and drove us both to college.  We stopped for lunch at a restaurant and I sat in the booth.  Dad was about to sit next to me when he stopped, looked at my boyfriend, and sat across from me so my boyfriend could sit by my side.  I had to chuckle inside as dad was coming to realize that I was growing up!

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About letstalkaboutfamily

I am a retired and was the primary caregiver for both my parents before they passed. I have children and grandchildren. This blog is an attempt to connect with other caregivers and share ideas and experiences. I hope you will let me know what worked for you if you had an experience similar to mine. The main issues I am going to talk about are elder care, death and dying, assisted living, family relationships and hoarders and hoarding. Other topics will come up as I address the issues and my relationship with other family members.
This entry was posted in Alzheimer's Disease, Elder Care, Eldercare, Memoir and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Memories of my Father

  1. terry1954 says:

    love memories of Dad. my dad was my hero, and i still think of him often, reliving our memories together

  2. Yes, dad was always my hero too. There is a special bond between a girl and her dad.

  3. magsx2 says:

    Hi,
    A wonderful post about your Dad. It is always great to look back every now and then and relive some of our memories. My Dad still thinks of me as his little girl, and I am an old girl now. 🙂 I think there are a lot of Dad’s like this.

  4. boomer98053 says:

    I love your story about your dad. In my father’s later years when I was his primary caregiver through his Alzheimer’s journey, we became so very close. We had always enjoyed a health relationship, but being a close part of his life from 2004, when his disease manifested itself only slightly, until his death three years later in the final stages of his disease, were a precious time in my life – and I hope in his as well.

    • Thanks. I would say that is what is happening between me and my dad. We were always close but far away in distance from each other. Now I see dad most days and we have come to be so much closer. It is good for both of us.

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