Living Life Their Way


It was hot yesterday.  Dad was sitting in his Lazy Boy chair when I visited him.  He hardly opened his eyes when I got there except to ask what I brought him.  I brought him Pepsi and cheese as I usually do.  He looked sleepy and unkempt.  His aide told me that he had refused his showed earlier in the day but she would try again after lunch.  Sometimes he is more awake after lunch than in the morning.  And sometimes not.

I read the newspaper while dad napped.  I reminded him when it was time for lunch and walked down to the dining room with him.  Later in the afternoon he did allow his aide to shower and shave him.

After I got home, I sat in the shade of my front porch to read my book.  I watched my neighbor, Casey as she worked in her garden.  Three weeks ago Casey was hospitalized for an unknown problem.  See ” A Frail Independent Mentally alert 94-Year-Old Woman…”   She came home after a week and got right back into the swing of things.  She has always been active and won’t slow down.

I saw Casey seemed out of breath as she leaned against the wall.  I put down my book and walked next door to talk to her.  I suggested she save the gardening until this morning when it wouldn’t be so hot.  She sat and talked to me in the shade while she caught her breath.  She wanted to move some flowers into her potted arrangement and take others out.  I told her how we worried about her and the flowers could wait but she needed to take care of herself.  She laughed and said she never was able to keep still and still can’t.

I came home and back to my book.  Casey picked up her shovel and got back to her garden.  I thought about the contrast between dad and Casey – both in their mid-90’s just about 3 months apart in age.  I guess when you get to be 90 you can do what you want.  And both Casey and dad are living life on their own terms!

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About letstalkaboutfamily

I am a retired and was the primary caregiver for both my parents before they passed. I have children and grandchildren. This blog is an attempt to connect with other caregivers and share ideas and experiences. I hope you will let me know what worked for you if you had an experience similar to mine. The main issues I am going to talk about are elder care, death and dying, assisted living, family relationships and hoarders and hoarding. Other topics will come up as I address the issues and my relationship with other family members.
This entry was posted in Assisted Living Facility, Caregiving, Elder Care, Eldercare, Independent Living Communities and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Living Life Their Way

  1. terry1954 says:

    that is what is grand about living to be that age, you get your own way!!! you have deserved it…..

  2. Teresa Cleveland Wendel says:

    I hope I can live life like Casey when if I reach 90.

  3. I agree. Sometimes I am tempted to try to get dad to talk more or do more. Then I remind myself he was always pretty quiet. He has earned his rest. If I try to get him to do more, am I doing if for him or for me? And yes, I would like to be able to be active like Casey when I am 90 plus. But I am not even that active now! She is out in the garden early and going all day long in her car, etc. I get up later than she does and seem to slow down sooner. But I want to be able to get out and about into my 90’s too!

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