Yesterday I visited dad again and he was in his Lazy Boy chair in his room, as he had been so many times before. Yet, I was surprised because during recent visits he has been in the television lounge. And the last few times he has been sitting with his new lady friend, “Mary”
But this time he was not even very alert, just napping. I asked if he felt OK as he wasn’t out in the lounge. He said: “Oh, I never sit out there.” I didn’t want to make anything out of it, so I just sat down by him to read the paper. He “rested” about the whole hour I was there.
When I walked him to lunch I saw his friend, Mary and the man I had thought was her husband were just coming to sit in the lounge. She noticed dad come out and said hello, but he was focused on his walk to the dining room and didn’t notice her at all. I said hello as I walked by.
I still don’t know what is up with her and the “other man”. I’m not even sure what his name is. In any case, she had been with him a lot in the past few months and was ready to sit with him again yesterday. Yet, the other day when she was with dad, her male friend was in the other lounge which is where most people sit before lunch. Perhaps they had a “falling out”. Or perhaps I am making too much of the whole thing.
Dad seems content so far to just take things day by day and I will just have to do the same. I would like to see dad make more friends, especially male friends, so he will have someone to talk to during the day. He is pretty quiet most of the time, but when he was living in the mobile home community he used to be active with the Men’s Club and especially the weekly breakfasts they put on.
He also used to edit the newsletter for the whole community because he had the computer know-how while his friend wrote the articles. After dad’s friend passed away, he became less active in the community. At that time I thought it was due to the loss of his friend, but it also coincided with the progress of his Alzheimer’s disease.
I think dad misses the companionship and camaraderie that he shared in the independent community. But he doesn’t seem to miss it enough to make him more assertive and active where he is now.