A few days after I had to take dad to the doctor in the rain, the sun came out and the temperatures were way above average. I was visiting dad and told him how beautiful it was out. I suggested we go out and he said no. Then I said, “Suppose I take you to that Italian restaurant that you like so much”. OK, he said, he was ready to go out for lunch.
We went to the usual restaurant and as usual we reviewed the menus. He ordered lasagna this time, which was a little different from the usual order. He had a nice red wine with his lunch and I had iced tea and a nice hot sandwich. I forgot I would get fries with mine, but dad was happy to help me eat those. I almost always get way more food than I can eat (dad too!) so I was happy for help eating all those calories.
While we were waiting for our lunch, dad’s face clouded over and he started to shake. I looked at him with some concern and he said: “Hold my hand”. I too his hands in mine and asked him if he was OK. “I miss my [my mother’s name]” he said with tears in his eyes. Suddenly my eyes teared up too and I brushed the tears aside. “I miss her too, Dad”, I said. Even after almost 2 years, it is hard not to miss mom.
I think something about the day, the nice wine dad had and being together reminded dad of being out so many times before with mom. He usually seems to be doing fine on a day-to-day basis, but in the back of his mind there is always my mom. Honestly, I still think about mom every day and even more so now that the 2nd anniversary of her last illness and death are approaching. I don’t know if dad associates her loss with the time of year or not, but her presence is always with us.
We had a nice lunch and once the food was brought to our table, he was fine. I am glad we got out that day as it was our last really beautiful day for the year I think. Now the forecasts are for a week of rain!
As I write this today we are already in the midst of the remnants of Sandy. I hope all of you are safe at home and that home is dry and high!