Dad’s Week


I have been having trouble reaching dad by phone the past few days. I know he is there and he is fine, but he spends so much time in the lounge that he isn’t in his room to answer his phone.

One of his companions visited Thursday and told me he was in his room reading his newspaper when she got there. He was more talkative than last week and they had a nice conversation. After she left, his companion realized she had left her gloves behind.

When she returned to look for her gloves, Mary, the “Lady Friend” I wrote about before (See:“An Incident Report..”Nov 18 and “Dad and a Lady Friend” ), followed the companion from the front door to dad’s room. Dad said hello to Mary and asked her to come in his room and visit with him. Mary said “No”. She said she wasn’t allowed and would have to ask the nurse.

The nurse is also the social worker and everyone’s case manager since this is such a small ALF. I wrote in the past that there were difficulties between dad and another male resident over Mary. There had been a meeting between the man and his family and Mary and her family. I never heard the results of that meeting, but I suspect one outcome was that Mary was not to go to dad’s room.

Dad doesn’t understand the dynamics about Mary and the “man I thought was her husband” but he seems to be caught in the middle sometimes. Mary is always very pleasant but the other man tends to get aggressive if Mary is with dad. I am presuming he is still there as I haven’t heard anything since I began my vacation in the South.

All three companions sent me glowing reports this week about how well dad is doing. In addition, my son visited dad today and said dad was in his room if I wanted to call. Unfortunately, I didn’t get my son’s email message until 40 minutes later and by then dad must have been at lunch as he didn’t answer my call.

It is still snowing and very cold at home and I am glad to be here. It has become fairly cold her too (by my wimpy standards). The temperatures are the coldest of the winter the past few days and thankfully,  should start warming by early next week.  I will be glad to see that as I don’t have warm clothing here. I have been spending my time indoors the past 2 days to avoid the cold wind.

Dad has had a good week and so have I.  I continue to be amazed at how well dad has done this past year.  Last year was the first time I left dad alone with companions to watch over him.  I worried the whole time that he would end up sick and hospitalized again.  This year he is looking and acting so much better.  He is older this year and still could have a problem, but overall we are both more relaxed being apart this time.

I find myself wishing mom could see how well dad is doing now.  I know she was worried that he wouldn’t do well by himself.  But he has come out of his shell and participates more now than he has in years.

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About letstalkaboutfamily

I am a retired and was the primary caregiver for both my parents before they passed. I have children and grandchildren. This blog is an attempt to connect with other caregivers and share ideas and experiences. I hope you will let me know what worked for you if you had an experience similar to mine. The main issues I am going to talk about are elder care, death and dying, assisted living, family relationships and hoarders and hoarding. Other topics will come up as I address the issues and my relationship with other family members.
This entry was posted in Alzheimer's Disease, Assisted Living Facility, Caregiving, Companion, Dementia, Elder Care, Eldercare, Lady Friend and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Dad’s Week

  1. I love the loving relationship you seem to have with your dad. I lost my dad a long time ago and just found out I am about to be a father. This post makes me want to go back and read what I’ve missed which is to me a hallmark of a great post.

  2. terry1954 says:

    what a difference a year can make!!

    • Yes, thanks. Dad is so funny. I finally reached him this afternoon. I asked what is a good time to call him and he said: “Anytime” as he is ” always in his room”. It is so funny to me that he doesn’t remember that he spends most of him time in the lobby instead of his room!

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