Why Doesn’t Dad Wear His Shoes?


Yesterday I received an email from one of dad’s companions. She had been to visit dad last week and helped him get ready for a luncheon outing with his Assisted Living Facility (ALF). He was wearing his slippers.

His companion tried to locate shoes for him as it is cold and wintry outside. She only found one pair of shoes (all he has, I think) but he refused to put them on. She wanted to know if he had other shoes. She asked the ALF staff about this and was told that dad had worn his slippers on the last outing as well.

I don’t understand how they let him go out in wintry weather wearing only his slippers. I know that dad has problems with his toenails. He sees a podiatrist every few months. I am wondering if maybe his toenails hurt when he wears his shoes. Otherwise I can’t think of a reason he can’t wear the shoes he has.

It just seems to me that someone at his ALF would have contacted me about the fact that dad won’t wear his shoes, even when he is going on trips in the ALF van. I guess that is why I have the companions checking in on him!

My son and I bought dad those shoes 2 years ago. Dad wouldn’t come with us to the shoe store, so we made 3 trips before we finally got a pair that fit him comfortably. The style was exactly the same as his old shoes and they were from a well known shoe manufacturer. I thought he liked those shoes.

I sent an email to the director of his assisted living facility yesterday asking if they knew any reason he couldn’t wear his shoes. I asked them to check and see if his toenail problem was the issue. However, I didn’t get any answer from the ALF and now it is the weekend, so I will have to wait until Monday before I can try to call them.

I also asked my son to check with dad when he visits on Sunday. My son has a good relationship with his grandfather and can maybe find out what the issue is.

It is times like this when I find it difficult to be so far away! I like to be able to visit dad myself and see what is going on. I haven’t reached dad by phone since I learned about this problem. He is not good about answering the phone and frequently he just isn’t in his room.

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About letstalkaboutfamily

I am a retired and was the primary caregiver for both my parents before they passed. I have children and grandchildren. This blog is an attempt to connect with other caregivers and share ideas and experiences. I hope you will let me know what worked for you if you had an experience similar to mine. The main issues I am going to talk about are elder care, death and dying, assisted living, family relationships and hoarders and hoarding. Other topics will come up as I address the issues and my relationship with other family members.
This entry was posted in Alzheimer's Disease, Assisted Living Facility, Caregiving, Companion, Elder Care, Eldercare and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Why Doesn’t Dad Wear His Shoes?

  1. terry1954 says:

    this reminds me of my brother. the aids are to be assisting him with his dressing. each time i go in I see Al in his footy slippers with shoes over them. now two days ago the nurse calls me to say the doctor ordered a foot powder because Al has very stinky feet. this burns me up. if the aids would actually assist Al his feet would not stink and monies would not be wasted on foot powder

    • I think the aides ask the resident what he wants. Dad wants to keep his slippers on so they let him. Indoors, I don’t mind, but outside I think they should talk him into wearing his shoes or notify me that he is having a problem with them.

  2. jmgoyder says:

    It happens with Ants too!

  3. Kathy says:

    Your title made me smile. I never wear shoes. I take the trash out in 20 degree weather in bare feet. At least your dad is wearing something on his feet when he goes out. I know this comment doesn’t make things any easier on you, especially being away. I do hope you can find out the reason why your dad doesn’t want to wear his shoes and get shoes on his feet again soon. Your title also made me smile because it reminded of my grandmother. She was nearly blind, but I would walk across the kitchen floor, at least 10 feet away from her, and she’d say “Kathryn dear, where are your shoes?” She always knew when I wasn’t wearing my shoes. Take care.

    • I really don’t worry about it in the summer, or indoors in winter. But when there is snow on the ground and perhaps wet melting snow, I hate to have him go out in only slippers when his feet might get wet. My kids always went barefoot in the house too or outside in summer. And usually I try to let dad just do what he wants to do, but I worry about him getting a cold or worse at this time of year. Thanks for your comment.

      • Kathy says:

        Very true. You don’t want him getting sick. Maybe he’d like a comfortable pair of boots for the winter?

      • I doubt very much dad would wear boots. He hasn’t worn any for 30 years. He only goes out an hour every other week and then only on the sidewalk or street with his walker. But he does need shoes rather than slippers.

  4. boomer98053 says:

    Whether you are where you are now, or a couple blocks away, the issues remain the same. If your dad is comfortable in his slippers and there are no health or physical problems relating to his choice of footware, it doesn’t matter what his shoes look like. You’ll be fine – and so will your dad.

  5. Pingback: More on Dad’s Shoes | Let's Talk About Family

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