Dad Continues to do Well in My Absence


It is officially spring, though from what I see on television, spring weather is somewhat behind what I would expect from looking at the calendar. I hope the temperatures are above freezing in the daytime once I get home. I have a very short time left on my vacation so there is not much time for things to improve up North.

Last night, I got a very nice update from my dad’s companion. She let him choose whether to go out for lunch or dinner and he chose dinner. She told him it was very cold and nasty out and maybe he would rather wait and go out another time. He said he wasn’t eating outside, so it didn’t matter.

Dad knew what he wanted – he wanted shrimp. He even told her the restaurant where I usually take him for shrimp but she couldn’t find it so went elsewhere. (I am amazed that dad remembered the name of the restaurant where we got his favorite shrimp. He doesn’t usually seem to remember any of the restaurants except his favorite Italian place which is near his Assisted Living Facility).

The companion cares for another elderly woman in the same vicinity as dad so sometimes she takes them both out to eat together. Apparently the other woman defers to dad’s choice of a restaurant and enjoys his company. I think there are distinct advantages to being one of the few men around!

The companion put her hand on the table and dad put his hand on hers. He turned to her and said: “Thank you”. I am impressed as dad’s social manners seem to be improving rather than going downhill in recent years.

Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease about 10 years ago – maybe more. Yet he seems to be doing as well, or better, than he was just a few years ago. I think it has helped him to move to assisted living where he gets healthy meals 3 times a day, his medications are given correctly and on time, and he gets more mental stimulation.

I called dad this morning and we talked briefly. I couldn’t reach him for the past 4 days so finally called the ALF front desk and asked for him. They gave him a cordless phone in the lounge to talk to me. Still, he isn’t much for phone conversations and rushed through this one as well. He said he was well, happy, didn’t need anything, etc. Of course, he started with “Where Are You?” but was fine with my answer.

We are getting rain here now after weeks of beautiful weather. Spring has come and it is time for me to begin packing for my return home. I look forward to seeing dad again, but I sure will miss the beautiful ocean and warm weather.

Each year I get to know more people in this community and it begins to feel a bit more like home also. I will see many of the same people next year. Much has happened in the months since I got here. But luckily dad has done well during my absence.

I haven’t kept up my blog as well as I wished to because of continuous problems with my computer and wireless connection. I hope I can post more regularly after I get home.

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About letstalkaboutfamily

I am a retired and was the primary caregiver for both my parents before they passed. I have children and grandchildren. This blog is an attempt to connect with other caregivers and share ideas and experiences. I hope you will let me know what worked for you if you had an experience similar to mine. The main issues I am going to talk about are elder care, death and dying, assisted living, family relationships and hoarders and hoarding. Other topics will come up as I address the issues and my relationship with other family members.
This entry was posted in Alzheimer's Disease, Assisted Living Facility, Caregiving, Companion, Elder Care, Eldercare and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to Dad Continues to do Well in My Absence

  1. terry1954 says:

    you two will be so happy to see each other!

  2. boomer98053 says:

    I love your dad’s comment regarding the weather and the fact that there is no correlation between weather and eating since he’s not eating outside. Brilliant!
    What you said about being popular as a male in AL communities is so true. My mom died in 1994 and a few months later dad moved to a CCRC (Continuing Care Retirement Community) as an independent living resident at first. The dining room was abuzz when dad went to meals that first week. The female residents fought to sit next to him and those who managed to garner a choice spot at dad’s table proceeded to try and monopolize the conversation, even going so far as to butt in when other women were talking to dad and overriding other conversations with theirs. So cute. Dad was a grieving widower but I don’t think he was offended by their attention.

    • So true, Irene. I noticed the same thing in the lounge at dad’s ALF. The ladies always say hello even if he doesn’t seem to notice them at all. And now, of curse, he does notice at least one if not more!

  3. jmgoyder says:

    When are you home again?

  4. Kate Swaffer says:

    and I think I shall add you to the Very Inspiring Blog awards list of nominees xx

  5. kirstyelgar says:

    I am caring for my nan with dementia, so we may be sharing similar experiences! http://livingwithdementiablog.wordpress.com/2013/03/26/the-dinner-and-the-sandwich-showdown/ if you’d like to take a look, please let me know anything that has helped you!

  6. camsgranny says:

    I’m glad you have enjoyed your time! I bet your Dad will be happy to see you as well. I am also glad about his ‘adventures”, eating shrimp ANYTIME is a pleasure…:)

  7. God bless your dad and his companion. I would rather be on the coast during the winter. Come summer time they are loaded with inebriated loud young people. I prefer people that I have more in common with….like inebriated quiet old people. Not saying I’m old….mature..yeah that’s what I am . 🙂

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