Previously I wrote a post about dad refusing to wear his shoes. I was frustrated that I couldn’t see for myself what the problem was since he had perfectly good shoes when I left. It turns out he still has perfectly good shoes. He has just decided he doesn’t like them anymore.
After I returned home from my vacation, I took dad to his doctor. It was a cold and drizzly day and dad was wearing his slippers. I convinced him to wear his shoes even though he said they were not comfortable. Once we got out and to the doctor, he never mentioned the shoes again. I thought the problem was solved.
However, after that I noticed he continued to wear just his slippers in the assisted living facility. This past week when I was taking him to lunch, I suggested he wear his shoes, and again he said they hurt his feet. It wasn’t raining and it wasn’t as cold as the week before, so we just went out with him wearing his slippers.
I brought his shoes home with me. I told him I will get him new shoes or have his old ones stretched. Today I took his shoes to the mall and to a decent shoe store. They had very few choices in the type of shoes dad likes (basically what he called boat shoes, or I would have called loafers.) They had some canvas shoes and one pair of softer leather that would have been available in a wide size but they were out.
I bought the canvas shoes which had a square front rather than tapering into the middle. The salesman thought they would give dad’s toes more room. My guess is that dad’s toenails are mis-shaped and that makes his shoes uncomfortable.
I also took his old shoes to a shoe repair shop and left them to be stretched, especially in the front. I am hoping that either the new shoes will fit or the stretched shoes will become more comfortable. I will bring the new shoes when I visit dad tomorrow. The others won’t be ready until later in the week.
I find myself spending a lot of time on “dad care” even on the days when I don’t visit dad at all. In addition to days I shop for dad’s groceries or shoes or whatever, there are also the paperwork days. I finally finished dad’s taxes last week. I had to file both federal and state tax forms for him. I completed the forms and then brought them to dad for his signature. Then I took them to the post office to send certified with proof of delivery.
Since I had to do my own anyway, I didn’t mind. But his are more complicated and of course it doubles the time it takes to get it all done. I guess I would rather spend my “dad time” on being with dad rather than on these other tasks that I do for dad.
At least the weather should start to warm up soon though it remains quite cold and very wet. We even had ice pellets come down yesterday. I think if the weather is warm and dry I won’t worry about letting dad go out wearing his slippers. At his age, he should be able to do whatever he wants to as long as it doesn’t put him at risk.