Dad, His Lady Friend, and Grieving for Mom

Sunday when I saw dad, my son and grandson were there also.  My grandson was quiet to begin with as he had gotten up at 6 AM and was sleepy by the time we were all with dad.  Still, after awhile he became more animated and talked a lot and played games on my iPad.

I showed my grandson the Mickey Mouse app that I recently installed on the iPad.  Some old Mickey Mouse videos started to play.  My grandson lost interest, but dad and his lady friend were watching it so I handed dad the iPad for awhile.

Dad mentioned on Sunday that he would like to go out to a fish restaurant because he really felt like having some shrimp.  I told him I would take him next time as I knew he liked shrimp.  But did he remember we just were there on Thursday?  No, he didn’t remember, though after thinking about it he thought maybe he did remember.  I hate that he forgets the good times that we have, but still I am glad we get out and have good times.

Tuesday when I visited dad, he was sitting next to his lady friend.  There were no extra chairs as they seemed to be doing some painting and had removed some of the chairs.  His lady friend got up and gave me her seat.  She went over to a man sitting alone in a single chair and said she wanted to sit with him.

He asked if she wanted to move to the sofa as he couldn’t sit with her on a single chair.  She agreed to that and sat by him on the other sofa while I visited with dad on the loveseat where he had been sitting all along.  It was an odd thing to me as it seemed like the lady didn’t want to sit by herself at all – she needed to be by a man!  Dad didn’t react to that, though earlier he had held tight to my hand and told me he was really missing my mom.

For the most part dad is doing well.  I tend to forget that he is still grieving for mom, but after over 70 years of marriage it is hard for him to be without her.  His lady friend keeps him company, but even when she is right beside him, he sometimes still misses mom!

I want to note here that I will be taking a blogging break for the next 2 weeks.  I will be spending the time with my children and grandchildren.

About letstalkaboutfamily

I am a retired and was the primary caregiver for both my parents before they passed. I have children and grandchildren. This blog is an attempt to connect with other caregivers and share ideas and experiences. I hope you will let me know what worked for you if you had an experience similar to mine. The main issues I am going to talk about are elder care, death and dying, assisted living, family relationships and hoarders and hoarding. Other topics will come up as I address the issues and my relationship with other family members.
This entry was posted in Alzheimer's Disease, Caregiving, Companionship, Dementia, Elder Care, Eldercare, Lady Friend and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to Dad, His Lady Friend, and Grieving for Mom

  1. boomer98053 says:

    When you take a break – please do more than just avoiding your blog. Really, and truly, take an emotional and spiritual break. You won’t regret it, and you certainly deserve it.

    • Thanks, Irene. I have signed up for a writing class and some other things. So I just need some extra time for awhile. And I will be seeing grandkids from here locally and some from further away so it should be nice.

  2. Terry says:

    of course he is missing his special lady in his life. he forgets but he will remember her. Poor soul, I wish I could do something to make him have her in his hands at all times or when ever he wished. I can’t imagine what that would be like to be married for that many years and then be alone. Thank goodness you are there for him. Have a nice visit with your family. Make sure to make mental notes so you can share some of your fun times with us

  3. SwittersB says:

    Enjoy your time away and thank you for all you share with us. Touching and real.

  4. Kathy says:

    My dad remarried about a year ago. But he still misses my mom and tells me so. They were together for almost 48 years and would be enjoying retirement together if pancreatic cancer hadn’t taken my mom from us. My mom was the love of his life and I know he will always miss her. At the same time he is not someone who does well alone. So I understand why he got remarried. Take care

    • Thanks, Kathy. They were lucky to have such a long marriage. I was divorced after less than 20 years. My dad never lived alone before mom died. He went from living in a large family to living with mom. It is hard to adjust to the time alone. I am glad he is usually as content as he is.

  5. jlsm697 says:

    Have a good break with your family…we all need it.

  6. jmgoyder says:

    Your blog is such a refresher for me – have a well-deserved break!

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