I hope you all had a very nice Thanksgiving yesterday.
When I visited dad for Thanksgiving he was dressed up and sitting in the lounge. We went back to his room and talked for awhile. He asked about Mary, the “Lady Friend” he had been with a lot in the last year, though not in the last few months.
Dad showed me a picture of Mary sitting with him that had been taken a few months ago. He asked if I knew who she was and I said yes. He asked me where she was because she has been gone from his living facility for over 2 months.
I told him Mary is living in another building now. She is in a “Memory Care Center” because her family thought it would be better for her there. He asked: “Can I see her?” I told him I didn’t know. I know her family was uncomfortable with the way she was getting familiar with the men in his facility.
And I know she tended to get the men upset because she would start with one and then move to sit by a different man. I told dad I would have to ask the director if it was possible for him to go visit Mary.
Before I left yesterday I stopped at the aides office to ask about Mary. They told me that Mary didn’t remember dad anymore. She had come to visit one day because they had the pet visits scheduled. Apparently she saw dad that day and didn’t remember who he was. They said some residents do take the little facility van over to the Memory Care building to visit friends or family members and he might be able to do that.
They suggested I ask the director when I come in on a weekday. (The administrative staff were not there on Thanksgiving nor were many others.)
So now I plan to talk to the director next week. I am not sure whether it would be a good idea for dad to visit Mary or not. If she doesn’t recognize him, how will that affect him? If she has other male visitors, etc., how will that play out? (Remember there was an incident over Mary one day in the lounge when another male suitor threatened dad.) See “An Incident Report – Assisted Living” for a historical account of this relationship.
I would appreciate any feedback from my readers.